When this poem was first accepted for publication (back in late 2023), I was over the moon. At the time, it felt like getting my writing accepted for publication was a far-flung dream that would take months, if not years, of rejection before finally happening. You can imagine how shocked I was to find out one of my poems would be getting published in print only a few weeks after sending out my very first round of submissions.
At the time, I was so self-conscious about my writing that I rarely shared my poems. I was just beginning to explore what poetry could do for me, so I seldom shared the actual words I’d written.
Here’s to changing that. Enjoy.
To name it
My words thick and venomous with yesterday’s tears, a cheek stained with black eyeliner— I carry tattered Kleenex in the pockets of my favourite denim jacket— call it punk, call it dramatic, call it melancholy— give the tears a proper name, one that can be pronounced by anyone’s tongue, except mine. To name the feelings are to tuck it into bed with you, and I don’t care to share sheets with a ghost— your toes too cold for my bare feet. I toss, and turn all night, my elbows crashing into the soft parts of your stomach, a knee connects with a shin, a nightmare startles me awake— I’m a monster to sleep next to.
Much love and support to FEELS Zine for giving this poem a place to call home. This first publication was a really big deal to me, and even though now I have a few more under my belt, I still feel such love for my very first pub.
I will never forget the feeling of absolute joy and exhilaration I experienced when I opened that very first acceptance email. Even now, I still feel that every time I’m fortunate enough to have a piece of my writing picked up. And thankfully, over time, the rejections have hurt less and less.
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